this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
