I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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