So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize