what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
