google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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