playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
