On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
