and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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