If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
