Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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