drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
