I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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