Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
