I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
