he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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