Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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