I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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