i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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