before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
