don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize