fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
The struggles of a small town man whore
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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