Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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