Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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