he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
