I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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