Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
