Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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