If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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