At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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