i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
