David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
