I wish life had little blips of pornography
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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