fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize