I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
