Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
