wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
