genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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