i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize