You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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