I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize