the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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