i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
