Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize