Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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