Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
