he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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