he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
