Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
