It was confusing and full of hummus
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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