Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
