Fine. I'll sleep in my office
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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