My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
