big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
