I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
