I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
