You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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