Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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