Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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