C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
