You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
what day is it and did you see me today?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
