I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
