1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
