I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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