You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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