All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
