I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
