The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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