I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
