i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
