I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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