I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
