can we get nightvision for the apartment?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
