its not stalking. its research.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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