he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
